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Knockout

The first cup competition of the season had dawned upon us: the Nighttime Cup saw 98 NFA clubs , with the winner guaranteed a place in the UFFA Cup Winners' Cup.

Our opponents were Ding Dong FC, who were in the midst of an impressive club record 10-match unbeaten run. They were a team built on a solid formation, with few star names but lots of excellent performers. It was going to be a tough match.

It got off to the best possible start after a defensive howler from Ding Dong keeper Pa Dembo Touray (who finished the match with a 4.9 rating). Rushing out of his box to make a hurried clearance, he was forced to head the ball away, where it landed at the feet of Morten Gamst Pedersen. Even 35 yards from goal, it was still an easy finish, as he lobbed the ball into the empty goal.

We weren't strangers to a 1-0 lead, although in previous matches we'd failed to hold onto it. So there was much rejoicing when, in the 52nd minute, Luton Shelton rounded the defence to put Hampton into a seemingly unassailable 2-0 lead. (The word "seemingly" will be your clue here.)

Peter Niemeyer pulled a scrappy goal back for the home side, and in truth we were left holding on for the final whistle. But for the third time in the season so far, we fell victim to our old foe: the last-minute equaliser. Diouf bagged a sitter to send the game to extra time, and from there it looked like a penalty shoot-out all the way.

And so to penalties. In the end, it was little more than a footnote: Ding Dong converted all of their penalties, despite Dudek's despairing efforts, and only Pedersen and Pahars were able to score for Hampton. A 4-2 defeat on penalties to a team ranked over 600 places above us in the world rankings shouldn't have been a disappointment, but given what had gone before, we had to consider ourselves extremely unlucky.

Another cup competition lay in wait, in the form of the Game World Cup, and our experience in this match would surely stand us in good stead for the knockout games ahead.

Newcomers

At the start of the new league season, we took several defenders on loan, in an attempt to patch up our battered back-line. And it seemed to be working, even if the resulting low scorelines weren't necessarily giving the fans maximum value-for-money. Permanent signings were bound to be on the horizon, and today I was able to unveil the first batch of these. Paraguayan central defender Dario Veron - nicknamed "The Wizard" - was just the man to make our terrible defensive record disappear. And midfield maestro Miguel Angel, formerly of Barcelona and Real Betis, was the perfect lynchpin for the centre of our midfield, as a long-term replacement for the underperforming Georgi Kinkladze.

This meant that we didn't renew the contracts of a couple of our trialists. Kevin McKenna, whose late red card had cost us three points on the opening day of the season, was released without contract. Striker Dejan Lazarevic managed three starts whilst Pahars was injured, but he managed a total of two shots in those three matches, so letting him go wasn't a hard decision.

Still, the squad was blossoming, and a few players were getting uneasy. Cathal Lordan went public with his concern that there was too much competition for places. And who could blame him? We had four players who could play on the right side of midfield, and he was fourth choice.

More new names were on the horizon - including a proven goalscoring superhero - more about those tomorrow, along with news about the clearout of deadwood...

Grinding

The opening NFA Q1 League match of the season against Kapanga had given us a big boost. Despite a late equaliser which denied us all three points, the performance was a total transformation from the unpredictable high-scoring mess which plagued pre-season.

As the matches passed, it was clear that this was a continuing trend. In our first eight matches, neither side managed to score more than a single goal. The results in full, with Hampton's score first, were: 1-1, 1-1, 0-1, 1-1, 1-0, 1-0, 0-1, 1-1.

And as the scorelines suggest, they were all tight affairs, showing that Hampton are fast becoming a highly-competitive side. Frustratingly, our second game of the season was a carbon copy of the Kapanga game; Luton Shelton fired us into an early lead, but we conceded a 90th minute equaliser.

It was a trend which seemed to be repeated elsewhere in the league; Conklin Forks manager, Tim Conklin, was bemoaning the same problem. Competition was fierce, and we were still struggling to keep our heads above the water - given the quality of our performances, it felt harsh that we sat in mid-table with only ten points from eight matches.

Click below for a full run-down of Hampton's first ten matches of the league season.

League

It took so long to clear up the unfortunate mess with the chairman that we never did get around to discussing the club's form. And a good job too; it had been decidedly unimpressive in pre-season, although this was largely due to a lack of funds. We'd identified several defensive weaknesses, and we just had to make some careful signings to balance these.

As expected, events took their course and our finances were soon back in shape. Once our daily league income of £100,000 was sorted out, there was no looking back. Combined with a one-off league payment of £300,000 to cover television rights, the club was soon back in the black, and funds were available for transfers.

And it wasn't a moment too soon. With the start of the season just around the corner, I was finally free to start making some defensive adjustments. I put in a couple of sealed bids for some quality central defenders; the results won't be known until tomorrow night. In the meantime, we brought in a couple of loan signings (Jhon Medina and Sven Verdonck), both of whom will spend the next seven days with the club. We also took Kevin McKenna on a 24-hour trial, with a view to a permanent contract if he performs well.

So it was a slightly revised Hampton side which took to the pitch for their first ever league match, in the NFA Qualifying Division 1. Here are the team which took their place in the history books against Argentinian side Kapanga:

With Verdonck and McKenna both making their club debuts, there was a danger that we would have a lack of communication within the back line, but compared to the shambolic performers which used to hold their positions - culpable of conceding 15 goals in our last 5 friendlies, and managing just a single clean sheet in our 17 pre-season matches - it was bound to be an improvement.

And so it proved to be. In an almost entirely flawless performance, Luton Shelton put Hampton into a 32nd minute lead with a well-placed strike. We went onto the defensive for much of the second half - nice to be able to rely on that as a tactic - and it seemed to have paid off, until things fell apart in the 87th minute. From a long Kapanga goal kick, Kevin McKenna made a committed challenge on Fabio Rochemback; it was one of those which looked worse than it really was, but referee Steve Bennett was one of those who bought the home side's protests. McKenna was issued with a straight red card, and from the resulting free-kick, Lucas Lobos drilled home an excellent 25-yard strike to ensure that the match finished 1-1.

It was an incredibly encouraging start to the league season, with none of the sheer incompetence which had blighted many of our previous performances. There was a hectic line-up of games to follow, including the first knockout game of the season, against Ding Dong FC in the Nighttime Cup.

Randy

Meeting with the chairman of Hampton Harriers was by no means a trivial task. Eccentric American tycoon Randy Hicks never left his home state of Iowa - "If God had meant for us to travel, we'd have been born with passports," he once remarked during a surprisingly sober conversation.

Like many American billionaires, Randy had made his money through oil. He'd invested heavily in the late nineties, when crude oil was trading for below $20 a barrel; with prices now over $100 a barrel, his finances were booming. In fact, he was buying so much oil that he started a very successful sideline in manufacturing oil drums.

Although the global price of oil was generally still heading upwards, there was enough uncertainty in the market that businessmen were beginning to look for more reliable investments - such as sports teams.

Investing in sports didn't really draw on Randy's strongest traits. He was a cold profiteer at heart; as with any other business, if an investment wasn't proving profitable, he would dump it at the earliest opportunity. Not so important if you're talking about oil, but for a professional sports team, the withdrawl of funding would often signify the beginning of the end.

So it was with a great deal of trepidation that I headed to Iowa for my first meeting with our head honcho. After the blunt note that I had received from his office, I assumed - correctly - that he'd heard about our club's precarious financial state.

Walking through the gates of Hicks House, and up to its palacial front doors, it was clear that Randy wasn't afraid to splash the cash. He was well known for his spoilt-child attitude, always wanting to get his hands on the latest craze or fad. Rumour has it that one of the garages at Hicks House is crammed full with a personalised fleet of Sinclair C5s. Similar eyebrows had been raised when he first made his investment in the then-unknown Hampton Harriers; but more about that story another day.

Walking up the marble steps to Randy's office, I was greeted by the sight of the man himself stood at the top, wearing only a towel, puffing on a cigar. "Neil, great to see you," he said, "Step into the sun lounge, and let's get down to business."

He wasn't fooling around. Before I'd taken my seat, he announced: "Look, we need to make sweeping changes. Not small, half-baked changes. Big changes. I've seen the balance sheet, and it's not pretty."

"That's right, Mr Hicks, but if you take a look at the 28-day projections..."

"Screw the 28-day projections!" he scoffed. "We're losing fifty thousand a day! Do you know what 28 times fifty thousand is?"

I didn't.

"We're blowing cash all over the shop, and this is where it stops. I invested in Hampton to make it the biggest franchise in the whole of England, to make Hampton into a team of world-beaters, one which could rival the likes of the Yankees, the Mets, the Red Sox."

"And there's still time, sir. The season kicks off in a couple of days, and -"

"We need big names, Neil. Huge, star players which will draw in the crowds and generate huge merchandising sales. This big signing of yours - Pedersen - is he the man to do it? Is he a big home-run slogger?"

It was at about this time that I realised that Randy had absolutely no idea what the team did. The investment had been presented to him as a straight money-making venture, and he hadn't taken the time to read the small print. Or the large print, it seemed.

"Well, actually Mr Hicks, Hampton aren't a baseball team. We're a football team."

Randy let out a bellowing roar. "Oh, I'm sorry man, how foolish of me. There I was, blabbering away, and you were sitting there thinking I was a prize idiot."

I kept awkwardly silent.

"Well, never you mind," he continued. "If it's football you play, I've got just the contacts that you need. Let me just make a quick phonecall to an old friend of mine."

Randy picked up the telephone, and within seconds he was connected to his old friend. "Chet, my man, great to talk to you," he said. "Listen, I've got a good friend of mine here from England. He's starting a huge new football franchise, and he's after some star talent, I was wondering if you had any free agents on your books right now? ...Ah-ha, that's fantastic." He gave me a wink and a thumbs-up, before continuing. "Yes... yes... Okay, gotcha. Yeah, an all-star quarterback is just what we're looking for."

I slapped my forehead in frustration. "Actually, Mr Hicks..."

He brushed away my objection, continuing his conversation. "Fantastic. Yes, book him onto a plane to London immediately. ...His family? Yeah, book them on too. And buy them a house to live in. Great stuff. I'll catch you later." He put down the phone. "Now, where were we?"

This was a conversation which would take some undoing.

Neil's note: Apologies to fans of Aston Villa and Liverpool - as they say in the film credits, any resemblence to real-life persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental ;)

Disarray

The next few days after returning from Norway proved to be some of the most stressful, frustrating and desperate times that I've encountered at Hampton so far. In the course of five friendlies - four of which were played at our new Lakeside Stadium home - the team conceded 22 goals, and failed to salvage even a draw out of any of them.

It was an embarrassing opening for our new stadium, where we'd assembled a media weekend to allow the Peterborough press to evaluate our new team and facilities. Our opening game was palatable - a 3-1 defeat to Moss Rose was perhaps to be expected, but we created many chances and held a fair percentage of the possession. What followed against Lesoot United was little short of a shambles.

The match got off to an inauspicious start, and despite a couple of early Lesoot goals from Bryan and Kenia, Hampton fought their way back to trail 2-1 at the interval, thanks to a goal from Marian Pahars. It was at this point that things started to go horribly wrong.

I should've mentioned that the club's financial situation, which had blighted my trip to Norway, hadn't improved. The club was currently operating on a £61,000 per week wage budget; nothing too stressful, as the weekly payments from the FA should outweigh that. However, the FA only gives income to clubs which have an official ranking, and as we'd played only a handful of games, we didn't yet qualify for a cash injection.

Until now, the club had been getting by, and I'd been desperately lining up enough friendlies for the club to earn a world ranking. However, today was the day that our precarious financial position became clear for all to see.

I was in the home dressing room, giving the boys a pep-talk ahead of the second half against Lesoot. "That was a tough first 45 minutes, but I think that Marian's late goal has shown us that there is light at the end of the tunnel."

At that moment, there was a power cut.

I hoped that it was just the changing rooms which had been effected, but as I staggered slowly through the dark stadium hallways, it became clear that this was a widespread problem. Struggling to find my way to pitchside, I instead headed for the room where I could hear the most noise. There was a ruckus coming from the press box, where dozens of journalists were complaining about their work which was lost when their PCs powered off.

"It's an unfortunate isolated incident," I informed them, "It's most likely an electrical substation fault."

"Then how do you explain that?" quipped one reporter, pointing to pitchside.

It turned out that not everything in the stadium had lost its power. It was looking increasingly like our energy suppliers were (literally) trying to send us a message.

With the remainder of the Lakeside Stadium - including the floodlights - still without power, we took the decision to finish the game with an orange ball. After all, the light from the scoreboard was casting a faint glow over the pitch. Despite the new lighting arrangements, the game quickly descended into farce, with Hampton eventually going down to a 7-3 defeat. I'd resorted to using a pen and paper to keep track of the score; I had to send away for more paper before the end of the match. Perhaps the only saving grace was that, with the power still out, the assembled journalists were unable to write too much about what an utter disaster the evening had been.

It was a morale-sapping night for all concerned, and it perhaps went some way to explaining what happened in the days that followed. A hastily-arranged away trip to Pembrokeshire FC resulted in a 7-0 defeat, and an Iberian double-header against Tucanes (Spain) and Alcaria (Portugal) resulted in 1-0 and 4-0 defeats respectively.

It was at this point that I received a message which no manager ever wants to see:

The chairman would like to meet with you urgently.

Gulp.